Now that I've come to the closing of week 6, I feel like I can update you all properly on the logistics, "trials", good times and what to expect next....
Walking into this, I think I put a lot of expectations on God and myself. Expectations on what i thought it meant to come back to YWAM and what this must have meant for my future.
....But the awesome thing about serving a God that loves me is the joy we have in making each other happy.
I started putting all the things God is to me, in the beginning of verses and started look harder at my life from that perspective. For example, Jeremiah 29:11
"For I the Lord (Your creator, your advocate, your protector, provider, your very best friend, your Father, Daddy, brother, Beloved, Soul mate.) Have Amazing plans for you."
When I started to break down who these people are in my life; " My Father and Best friend" I started to think how both those people in my life always want me to be happy, always want me to grow, only ever want the best for me, and think I deserve the best...when i started praying with that in my mind, I started to connect with a God who only wanted to talk to me on the most intimate level. It's easy to see why Song of Solomon calls this "A divine romance."
All this to say, the future plans I THOUGHT I'd have at this point are not at all where I feel God leading me.
This school has, surprisingly enough, been one of the hardest things I've done in missions so far. ( I keep thinking, "Send me back to a bush in Africa!") But its also been one of the most beneficial. (I guess the hard things always are.) L God has been speaking to me so much about His heart for long term missions and what it looks like to "make His kingdom come here on earth." ....and Its not at all what I expected. Learning that pretty much everything you've been doing on the mission field for the past few years was doing more harm then help....was a tough, humbling pill to swallow.
I've been asked several times throughout the duration of this school "Why do you do what you do? What motivates you?" After trying to answer this question on my own several times (looking for something profound and inspiring) the Lord finally gave me the answer. Worship. My life is about worship, its our number one calling, that's why we were created. And by dedicating my life to missions, using the gifts God has given me, is the greatest act of worship I can ever give to my Heavenly Father.
I know I've rambled on (for years now) in my news/support letters, about how I want my life to be more then me. I want it to reflect the Christ in me and fulfill all the plans he has made me for. But I just can't get enough of thinking and writing about Him emphasising this in me. He wants all of our soul...When is the last time we lived our day in full for nothing else but to worship God? Not to feed the hungry, not to sing a song in church, but to really just bless God's heart.
I WILL get burned out if I work in missions off my own strength just to help the needy....But my passion for wanting to please God wont ever burn out if i continue to seek the Lord daily....because there is so much of him, that there will forever be a reason to be amazed.
Amos 5
21-24"I can't stand your religious meetings.
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
your pretentious slogans and goals.
I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes,
your public relations and image making.
I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
When was the last time you sang to me?
Do you know what I want?
I want justice—Its what my heart is full of, I want oceans of it.
I want fairness and peace—rivers of it.
That's what I want. That's all I want."
James 1:27
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress {to LOVE one another} and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
Of course getting more spiritually fed and having deep profound thoughts, isn't all I've been doing here. We've had weeks of practical (long term) mission field work. Such as; "Water and Sanitation" (learning that the number two killer in developing countries is diarrhea which can be dimensioned by thousands if they knew how to just wash their hands properly.) Learning how to build latrines and wells. Weeks on "How to start your own NGO or come alongside an already existing." Learning how to come into communities properly, to live among them, gaining there trust. Making there struggles your struggles, their dreams, your dreams. Finally realizing, You can't change the world until you change peoples Hearts, perspectives, self worth....relationships with each other, and ultimately, God.
SO, the plan from here? I'm not headed off to a far of place in the jungles of Africa right away. I'm going to continue to live in this new light and knowledge He has given me. I'm going to finish out the next 6 weeks strong. And as of right now,head back to the mission field at home. Purse God's heart in medical missions, understanding the spiritual root and what God has to say about diseases and sickness. Working and studying from both home and overseas (Haiti mostly).
Please continue to stand with me in prayer for direction in missions and for God's kingdom to come here on earth, in my own heart so that I will be fully equipped for the next assignment. And Please send me prayer request and updates on your lives as well. I Love them :)
-Kourney Hetrick
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wow beautiful.. i love this. thanks for your honesty and for sharing the revelation God has brought upon your life. I was encouraged, thank you. proud of you and for your obedience to God. love you dearly
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